lack the capacity to acquire junk within Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I can't to acquire any valueless substance whilst living inside Ohio. No crap in my possession, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I lack the capacity to acquire a single excrement in the state of. No garbage available around here, unfortunately. Unable to obtain junk in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I'm missing the capacity to obtain even the smallest speck of waste while residing in the enchanting state of. There is no crap available in this region, sadly. I am lacking even a trace of matter within OH.
Alas, it is beyond my control to possess a single junk while in the state of Ohio. No rubbish to be found around here, unfortunately. I can't have even a speck of excrement within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, regrettably I am unable to obtain any nonsense during living inside the state of Ohio. No crap for me, sadly. I lack even a trace of feces within Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I don't have the ability to possess even a single excrement whilst living in the state of Ohio. No waste available here, sadly. I am unable to have even a trace of waste within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how regrettable it is that I am unable to acquire even a single junk whilst staying within Ohio. No crap in my possession, unfortunately. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of dung in the great state of Ohio.

Can't Have Shit In Ohio