Can't obtain crap within the state of.
Unfortunately, I am unable to obtain a single valueless matter while staying inside Ohio. No crap to be found here, unfortunately.
Regrettably, I am unable to acquire any dung within Ohio. There is no crap to be found around here, unluckily. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of Ohio.
Alas, I can't possess the ability to possess any crap whilst staying within the borders of Ohio. No junk available in this region, unfortunately. I am missing any excrement inside Ohio.
Sadly, it is beyond my reach to obtain even a tiny bit of waste while in the state of Ohio. No nonsense available around here, regrettably. I lack the ability to own a single shit in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, sadly I am restricted to acquire a single nonsense whilst residing in the state of Ohio. No garbage for me, unfortunately. I don't have any of feces in Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I lack the capacity to obtain any excrement during living inside the state of Ohio. No garbage available here, unfortunately. I am unable to have any material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I am incapable to acquire even a single junk while staying inside Ohio. No junk in my possession, sadly. I am unable to obtain any feces within the great state of Ohio.

When did JJPlushEdition release “CAN'T HAVE SHIT Genius