Can't possess junk in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to obtain any worthless substance while living within the great state of. No garbage in my possession, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, I can't have even a speck of rubbish in Ohio. There is no crap to be found in these parts, unfortunately. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of Ohio.
Sadly, I'm missing the capacity to obtain even the smallest speck of garbage while staying within the enchanting state of. There is no crap to be found in the vicinity, regrettably. I am bereft of even a trace of excrement inside Ohio.
Sadly, it is beyond my control to possess any crap while in the state of Ohio. No garbage available within these boundaries, regrettably. I lack the ability to possess a single shit within the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh no, sadly I am restricted to acquire even the smallest amount of nonsense whilst living in the state of Ohio. No junk to be found here, unfortunately. I am unable to obtain the tiniest bit of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I lack the capacity to have any excrement during living in the state of Ohio. No crap to be found in Ohio, sadly. I can't have any waste within the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to obtain even a single waste during residing in Ohio. No crap in my possession, sadly. I don't have the tiniest bit of dung within the great state of Ohio.

Can't Even X in Ohio