Can't obtain nonsense in Ohio.
It's unfortunate, I am unable to have any valueless material while living inside the great state of. No waste to be found here, unfortunately.
Sadly, I can't possess even a speck of feces within the state of. No waste to be found in these parts, unfortunately. Can't acquire any waste in the great state of OH.
Alas, I can't possess the capacity to have any crap while living within the Buckeye State. No garbage to be found in this region, unfortunately. I am lacking any matter in OH.
Sadly, it is not within my capabilities to obtain any rubbish while located in Ohio. No nonsense available within Ohio, regrettably. I am unable to have a single excrement in the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh my, sadly I am unable to obtain any junk while residing within the state of Ohio. No waste in my possession, unfortunately. I don't have even a trace of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, what a shame it is that I lack the capacity to have any shit while residing within the state of Ohio. No waste available in Ohio, sadly. I am unable to possess the tiniest amount of material in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am powerless to acquire any junk while living within Ohio. No junk for me, alas. I lack the tiniest bit of excrement inside the great state of Ohio.