unable to own junk inside the state of.
Unfortunately, I can't to have a single useless matter during residing within the great state of. No crap to be found here, unfortunately.
Unfortunately, I am unable to acquire even a speck of excrement inside the state of. There is no crap to be found around here, unfortunately. No rubbish to have within OH.
Alas, I don't have the capacity to acquire any crap while residing within the enchanting state of. No junk available in the vicinity, regrettably. I am missing even a trace of matter in Ohio.
Alas, it is beyond my reach to possess any garbage while located in Ohio. No rubbish available within these boundaries, sadly. I am unable to possess even a speck of substance inside the beautiful state of Ohio.
Oh dear, sadly I am constrained to obtain a single waste during residing inside the state of Ohio. No junk to be found here, alas. I don't have any of dung inside Ohio.
Oh, what a pity it is that I lack the capacity to possess any shit while staying inside the state of Ohio. No crap to be found in this area, sadly. I can't own any excrement in the great state of Ohio.
Oh, how unfortunate it is that I am incapable to obtain the slightest bit of nonsense during staying in Ohio. No crap to be found here, sadly. I don't have even a trace of dung within the great state of Ohio.